Is He Cheating?

It was going to be good day, Rahel felt it somehow. She woke up happier than usual and also faster. On other mornings she would lay on the bed at least until mid-day and then spend some more time on the bed. This brown haired girl definently loved to sleep more than anything, well, anything else than eating and her boyfriend.

Young girl smiled when the red-haired boy came to her mind. Not that he wasn't on her mind all the time but still. This boy was her long-time crush and now is her boyfriend. The thought of this boy, her ideal boy, her everything, made girl smile even wider.

Rahel quickly dressed up, putting on blue shorts and her lover shirt that was little big for her oh-so-little body. She remembered that her boyfriend had comeback with his group today so he'll be on the MBC building whole lunch and even after that so he probably doesn't have time to eat. Rahel decided that he'll make something and bring it to him. Because knowing that she can't cook well she did some sandwiches and packed them before slipping her foots on flip-flops, taking her wallet, keys and phone and heading out. She went to basment floor and got in car she bought year ago.

After 15 minutes driving she finally was on her destination, MBC building. She got in fast because everyone there already knows that she is in relationship with Jang Hyunseung. She walked happily towards the room Beast was supposed to be in, the bag with Hyunseung lunchbox in her hans. Rahel didn't tell her boyfriend she was going to go there to make surprise visit. She opened the door and went in. She tried to find her boyfriend but he couldn't be seen. She went to Yoseob, Hyunseung group member.

,,Hey Yoseob,''she said smilingly.

,,Oh, Rahel, how have you been? Is everything alright? I missed you!''he was all exited.

,,I've been fine and everything is fine. I missed you too,''she said and hugged him.

,,So, what brings you here?''he asked.

,,Well, I thought you couldn't go to eat lunch so I brought some food to Hyunseung,''she explained:,,Do you know where he is?''

,,Uh, mabye.''he asked and looked somewhere. I turned around and saw Hyunseung smiling and chatting happily with some girl. It wasn't like him at all. He is usually quiet and stays alone. He only acts all happy and stuff when he's with her or the members, or with family. But never, ever, around other people. Is he...is he having an affair? Rahel thought and saw how Hyunseung put hand on the girl shoulder, laughing at something. This wasn't definently Hyunseung. Rahel rubbed her eyes but this guy was still Hyunseung, all touchy and stuff with other girl. She couldn't believe it, is her boyfriend really cheating on her? She felt so sad and angry that her eyes got teary - something that can barely see from her. Rahel took the bag with his lunch and threw it at him. It hit him perfectly. She quickly ran out from waiting room and went out from the MBC building, trying to get away from this place as quickly as she could. Rahel unlocked her car doors and got it, driving away only seconds later.

---

She heard her boyfriend unlocking the front door and coming in, locking door after that. She turned off the lights and tv and waited. Hyunseung came in their bedroom littlebit later.

,,Let's break up,''she said, voice shaking.

,,Why?''he asked and turned lights on.

,,What? You really think I'm stupid and blind and didn't see how you were all touchy with this girl!''she almost screamed.

,,She's just a friend,''he answered and took off his jacket.

,,You wanted to say girlfriend?''

,,No..,''

,,Cut the crap, I'm tired of your lies,''she said:,,You're sleeping on the couch tonight and leaving tomorrow,''

,,Jagiya,''he said:,,I really don't have affair with her. I only love you. You're my everything,''

,,So cheesy,''she answered and turned her back to him.

,,Listen to me. This girl is just my old friend. My oldest friend. I've known her longer than any other girl. And I also know she has crush in me but I only have my eyes for you,''he said and turned her so she was laying on her back and sit on her.

,,Get off, liar,''she said and tried to push him off, but she was too weak.

,,I'm not lying, Rahel. Remember the promise we made when we started dating?''he asked and she nodded:,,I'm still keeping this,''

,,If I find out you're lying, I'll cut your dick off,''

,,So, are we okay now?''he asked.

,,Yes,''

,,Then let's have make-up sex.''he said and already kissed her lips, not letting her to say anything. She heard how he whispered:,,I bet I won't be sleeping on couch tonight.''

I love you...but i can't forgive you

I was walking down from the school bus steps and talking with Yeonhee and Miyoung. Miyoung just told us how funny date he had yesterday when I heard someone screaming my name. I knew for who this voice belonged to. I still remembered that sweet voice that I heard last time like 6 weeks ago.

,,Liz!''he shouted my name. I turned around and saw him with his group mates and now, they all are his best friends. They are important to him, like I was before. I was friends with th When I saw him, my heart did one dump less. I couldn't believe that he had enough ego to come back after going away. After leaving me alone. But I still love him, no matter what.

,,Lee...Suhoon,''I shouted quietly. He ran to me. I heard how other girls were screaming:,,Mika! Mika hug me! Mika, saranghaeyo! Mika, please, come to me, I'm worth more than this crap!''.

,,Phyllis, I'm sorry for leaving you,''he said like there's nobody around. He wanted to took my hand but i didn't let him. I saw how his best friends looked at us.

,,Sleepy...i mean Mika, I don't want you to come to see me again,''Sleepy was the name I gave to him several years ago, but now i can't use it anymore, it shows my weakness to him.

,,Honey, what's wrong?''he asked with his voice shivering.

,,Honey? What honey? I don't love you anymore.''I said to him, looking down.

,,You don't love me anymore?''i nooded:,,''Tell it to my face. Look in my eye and tell me that you don't love me.''he said.

,,I...I can't love you,''i said, looking at his eyes. He looked confused and i told him:,,I can't forgive you that you left me without saying anything. Do you know how much i cried because of you? Do you know how sad I felt? I wanted to die because of that and now you come back like you didn't do anything wrong. Sorry, Suhoon, but I can't forget what you did to me. I can't forgive you for hurting me.''

Tears falled from my eyes when i left him to go to school. Yeonhee and Miyoung came to me asking if I'm okay but they didn't need answer to know that i died inside, again.

---

For the end of the day most of my school mates had heard about me and Suhoon. Most of people came to me and tried to be my friends. Thankfully we had only 6 lessions, because 2 of our teachers weren't at school. I went to bus station with Yeonhee and Miyoung. We had to stay there only for 2 minutes and our bus came. It was full of people.

I saw some teenagers staring at me, I was thinking that if they know already.

I was the first from us three who left the bus. I had only 200 meters to walk home and I tried to do that quickly. And I wasn't looking around much until I was front of our door. He was standing there, waiting for me.

,,Liz,''he shouted the name he gave to me about 4 years ago.

,,I told you not to come to see me again. Didn't I?''i tried to be angry but i melted inside when i looked into his eyes.

,,Why can't you give me just one more chance? And it wasn't even my fault that I had to leave so suddenly!''

,,You could send me message or something that you have to leave,''I tried not to cry, but tears still falled from my eyes.

,,Our manager tooked our phones away from us.''he tried to explain

,,You should send me e-mail or send me anything to get to know why you left me, but no! I tought you hate me!''

,,Lizzy, I'm sorry for not telling you anything,''he looked down.

,,It won't help anymore, you know. I told you I can't love you anymore. I can't forgive you.''I said and stepped into house. I closed door and locked it, running to my bed after doing that. I just couldn't stop crying until i fell asleep.

---

Weeks has been passing away so quickly. I have been pretending like I don't know Suhoon. I've been avoiding and ignoring him so much that I could. At first it was hard because he kept coming to my school and home. I wanted to tell him that I still love him and I forgive him, but I wanted to see him suffer like I did when he left me.

After new year Jihwan, Suhoon's friend and group mate, joined our school.

I Got You

(Suhoon’s POV)

It was hard seeing him with a girl, but it was even harder seeing him kissing and hugging her and telling her how much he loved her. It was hard for me knowing he was happier with her and not with me. I knew that's how love was between two people but I couldn’t help but love him too.
“Suhoon hyung, can you wait for a few minutes? I have to go and talk with Jeannette for a second.” Hyunmin said when we were in the dressing room.
“Oh sure, but could you do it quickly? My dad is waiting and you know he doesn't like to wait.” I said as Hyunmin nodded and ran to meet his long time girlfriend.
He returned in about 2 minutes later and we were soon on our way. I noticed his facial expressions. He seemed happier than ever. I'm sure it had something to do with Jeannette.

(Later)

I was alone that night just like any other night. Hyunmin barely spent any time with me for he was with Jeannette. It had been almost 7 months since we last went out to the movies. Ever since he started dating Jean he had completely forgotten about me. There was only 1 week until summer holiday, but I knew I wouldn’t be coming back to this school. I was moving away with my parents and brother, so I wouldn’t have to suffer anymore. My parents really do love me so they decided that it was for the best.
Then a thought popped into my head. Jeannette, there wasn't anything that I didn't like about her. She was talented, pretty, smart, she had a fabulous figure as well as a great voice. She had everything. I honestly didn’t really care about who she was or what she did though. She didn’t do anything to make me feel this way. It was my own fault that I was suffering. It was my fault I had a dilemma. It was my fault that I didn't girls, but instead had to fall in love with a guy. I was in love with my best friend or should I say ex-best friend, Hyunmin.


The next day seemed just like any another ordinary school day but something was bothering me. Something was wrong with Jeannette. She didn't look at Hyunmin or pay any attention to him at all. They were never seen together anymore and didn’t spend time with each other like they did during those 7 months.
Perhaps they got into a little fight? But even if they did they would talk it over and make up at the end of school. I was glad, seeing that I was able to spend more time with Hyunmin this way but on the other hand, I also felt bad because to see them acting like this towards each other. Later that day, they didn't make up, nor next day. They didn't talk with each other and started avoided one another. Hyunmin wouldn’t tell me what was wrong; he just kept silent and just pretended like nothing happened. At the end of school on Wednesday Hyunmin asked if he could have a word with me. I was curious to what he was gonna tell me. Hyunmin apologized about not being able to spend any time with me for 7 months, but he wants to make it up to me.
We headed home, changed into more comfortable clothes and later met at the park. I saw him waiting for me and approached him. Even though it was pretty dark, I saw a grin on his face. ‘What was going on?’ I thought as I came face to face with him. Hyunmin was silent for a minute before finally something. “Mika hyung, Jeannette and I broke up.” He said quietly looking at the ground. I gasped to myself.
“Uh, H…Hyunmin. But why? Why didn’t you tell me sooner? We could have thought of something to get you guys back together!” I said.
“No, it’s over. There’s nothing more to say.” Hyunmin mumbled.
“But why? You love her, and she loves you! Why did you break up? What did she say?” I asked looking at Hyunmin in disbelief.
“She…didn't say anything. I was the one who said that I didn’t wanna be with her anymore.” Hyunmin admitted taking a step closing to me. My heart skipped a beat when he did that.
“Why?” I asked again a bit frustrated. I knew it sounded really repetitive but I had to know the reason.
“Hyung I don't love her. I haven’t for a whole month but I just couldn’t find the courage to tell her all this time, until now.” Hyunmin ran a hand through his hair, “And, there's another reason as well. I love someone else.” I felt a sharp pang in my chest. The last 4 words; it was painful. It was as if someone had thrust a knife right through my heart. I felt my eyes become hot from the tears but I couldn’t let Hyunmin see I was crying. I knew he would never look at me they way I looked at him. It…just wasn’t possible. We were just friends and that was that.
“Oh, uh..that’s great!” I said faking a smile, “Do I know her?”
“Not her. Him” Hyunmin said. My chest tightened as I mentally shook my head. This was getting really confusing! “Uhm, okay. Then who is he?” Now I really wanted to let my tears flow out. Hyunmin smiled as he took one more step closer to me, nearly closing the gap between us. “You know him hyung.” Hyunmin said quietly placing his hand on my shoulder. I glanced at his arm nervously as well as hurt. “It's you.” My mouth dropped open as I stared at him. “It’s you…” Those words kept echoing in my head. Did I just hear what I think I heard? Was I hearing things? “M…m-me?” Hyunmin chuckled as he nodded. “Yes you hyung. I love you Lee Suhoon, more than my life.” He said and took my hand, then finally closed the remaining space between us. Was this all a dream? That’s when Hyunmin’s lips pressed against mine and he kissed me deeply. My heart skipped a beat as I felt goose bumps forming on my skin. No, this feeling; it wasn’t a dream. His warm soft lips, his hot breath, his protective embrace. It was real. I sighed contently as I gladly returned the kiss.
“I love you too, Woo Hyunmin.”

The Love Of My Life

Hyunmin POV.

I was sure that he wouldn’t leave me until the second he said that to me. “Hyunmin, I'm leaving you. I won't come back.'' I wanted to ask why but my voice didn't come out. I was just looking at him hoping he's fooling around, like he used to. But he stayed more serious than he ever been.
“Are you joking with me right now?'' I wanted laugh, but I couldn't.
“Do I look like I'm fooling you right now?'' he was getting angry. I stepped back, looking at him. And then he left with all his things.
“Mika, don't leave me,'' I ran out of the house.
“Hyunmin, I can't stay anymore. I can't watch how you adore me when I don't have anything to give back. I'm sorry.'' and he left. I wished that it was only a dream. I looked at house I lived in with him. Now I should leave this house to erase those memories.

Suhoon POV.
One hour later.

I knew that leaving the love of my life wasn't the best choice I’ve done, but this was the only way to keep him out from the pain I could give him.
I have cancer, I don't know how long I can live anymore. I found out about it two weeks ago and since that day I’ve been thinking how to hurt Hyunmin less. I don't want him to suffer because of me, but I had nothing else to do than tell him I don't love him anymore. Hearing him telling me that he doesn't want me to leave, I wanted to go back and tell him I won't ever leave him. But I made my choice and now I have to live with it.
Right now I’m going to the hospital; my family is there waiting for me. Doctors are going to do some more tests and soon they’ll tell me how many days, weeks or months I can live.

Hyunmin POV.
Year later.

I didn't leave the house. I didn't want to erase those memories. I wanted to think that he's actually coming back to me and he’ll tell me he was only fooling around with me. I wait for him every day, I take two cups out of the closet and pour tea in both of them. I'm always looking out of the window to see that maybe he's coming to tell me that he wants me back. That he didn't stop loving me. That he wants to be with me forever, until we both die.
But I don't think that it will ever happen. I've been waiting for whole year for him to come, but he doesn't. Maybe he has new boyfriend? Or girlfriend? Maybe he's married and raising a baby who looks exactly like him? Maybe…I started crying, thinking about him being married with other is too much for me.
I still love him.
Wait, someone is knocking at the door right now. A postman, he came to give me one letter. I went back to couch and started reading.

Dear Hyunmin,
It's me, Suhoon. Do you remember me? I wanted to contact you because i wanted you to wish all the best. I'm in the hospital now, I only have few days left. Hyunmin, I’m dying. And if you...if you can come, I need you here. I need to see you one last time and tell how much I love you. Those words about not loving you a year ago...they were the biggest lies I have ever told someone. I had to leave you because I didn't want you to suffer. Hyunmin, I have cancer.
But if you can't come, then don't. But remember, you're the love of my short life.
With the best wishes,
Lee Suhoon.

I ran to the nearest hospital and asked if they have any patient called Lee Suhoon, but they didn't. I took a taxi and asked to drive me to the other hospital. I paid my bill, and thank god, he was there. The love of my life was there. I ran to his hospital room. I saw his mother there. I went immediately to him and took his hand. He was alive, thank god.
“I...I thought you wouldn’t come,'' he said to me quietly.
“Mika, I love you, of course I will be with you,” I said and kissed him softly.
“How have you been?'' he asked me then.
“Ah..I’ve...I’ve been okay. I waited every day for you to come and you never did,” I told him the truth.
“Minnie, you know why I did that,'' he was so weak. I was just hoping that he wouldn’t die now.
“I know now why. I wished you told me. I would go through this with you. Mika, I still love you.'' I told him honestly. He tried to smile, but he was too weak.
“Hyunmin, I...I love you too.'' he said before closing his eyes. I told him to open his eyes. I shook him, I screamed his name but he didn't hear me. He didn't answer me. He was dead. And at this moment my life crashed down.

Jalutasin seda teerada, mida igal õhtul pärast meie lahkuminekut, kuid jäin seisma, kuuldes tuttavat häält. Ma ei olnud kindel, kas ma kuulsin õigesti, aga pead tõstes nägin ma Teda. Ta oli seal, oma uue kallimaga.

,,Karam.''sosistasin ma, pisar jooksis mööda mu põske alla mu nahkjakile, mis sa mulle kinkisid mu 18'ndaks sünnipäevaks. Ma ei olnud sind näinud nüüdseks kolm aastat, aga ta tundus mulle täpselt sama, kui siis, kui me lahku läksime. Ma ei suutnud sammugi edasi liikuda, pisarad jooksid ainult mu põskedelt jakile, kui ma järsku põlvili vajusin. Miks ma olin lootnud, et ta tuleb kunagi minujuurde tagasi? Miks ma tahtsin uskuda, et ta armastab mind siiani?

Kuulsin samme enda poole tulevat ning minujuurde jõudes, astus üks neist tagasi. Ma olin täiesti kindel, et see oli tema.

,,M...Mika, mida sa siin teed?'' küsis ta šokeeritult. Mida ma siin teen? Tahad tõesti teada? Ma elan siin samas ligidal, paar maja tagasi, you babo. Ma elan seal, kus ma elasin 3 aastat tagasi. Seal, kus elasime meie.

,,Ma elan siin ligidal.''vastasin, ning tõusin püsti.

,,Hyun Cheol, sa tead teda?''küsis ta uus boyfriend, kes tal käest kinni hoidis.

,,Well, me saime kunagi läbi.''ütles ta ning samal hetkel käis mul südamest jõnks läbi. Ma teadsin, et meil pole üksteisele midagi rohkem öelda ning lahkusin. Ma ei suutnud pisaraid tagasi hoida ning lasin neil lihtsalt joosta. Kõndisin aeglaselt teadmata suunas. Ma ei suutnud mõelda muule, kui sellele, et Karam ei ole mind iial armastanud. Et kõik need sõnad, mis ta mulle ütles, oli vale. Et ta lihtsalt mängis minuga.

---

Olin jõudnud just tuppa, kui kellahelinat kuulsin. Ma ei jõudnud isegi oma töö riideid vahetada veel. Aga sel polnud erilist vahet. Läksin ja avasin ukse. Ma olin kindel, et näen und, kuni ta lõpuks oma suu avas.

,,Mika, lased mind sisse ka?''küsis ta naeratades ning ma avasin ukse. Ma ei tahtnud seda teha, aga miski mu sees sundis mind.

,,Ma ei ole sinu jaoks enam Mika, nagu sina minujaoks Karam. See aeg möödus tol päeval, kui sa mind oma kunagiseks tuttavaks nimetasid,''ma üritasin olla temaga karm, aga ma ei suutnud. Ma ei suutnud siiani panna vastu tema silmadele, mis mulle otsa vaatasid.

,,Oh, come on, Mika, ära ole selline,''ütles ta ja pani oma käe mu põsele.

,,Mida sa tahad, Park Hyun Cheol?''küsisin ning lükkasin ta käe eemale.

,,Rääkida,''vastas ta ning nõjatus kapi vastu, mis esikus seisis.

,,Meil pole millestkist rääkida enam,''vastasin ma ning kõndisin elutuppa.

,,Ei ole? Sa tead, et ma armastan sind,''ütles ta mulle järgi tulles.

,,Ei, sa pole mind kunagi armastanud. Palun lahku nüüd,''ütlesin ning vaatasin talle tõsiselt otsa.

,,Sa ei tea mida ma tunnen, aga kui su soov on, et ma lahkun, siis ma teengi seda,''ütles ta.

,,See on minu soov.''kinnitasin ma talle ning ta lahkus. Ma olin kindel, et see jääb meie viimaseks kohtumiseks.

I lost you.

,,Mika, ma arvan, et sul on aeg edasi liikuda.''ütles mu vanem õde, kui ta korra minu toast läbi tuli, et mulle järjekordselt süüa tuua, ning lahkus. Ma teadsin, et tal on õigus, kuid ma ei suutnud unustada seda, kuidas me kohtusime, käima hakkasime ning millal ta mu maha jättis. Ma ei mõista siiani, mida ma tegin valesti, et ta mu maha jättis. Sellest on juba möödas küll kuid, kuid ma käin koguaeg läbi seda 5 aastat, mil me üksteist armastasime. Mil ma tundsin end tervelt.